Burden of Esteem - Not Meant to be Guerrilla Filmmaking

Today we were back to working on another few scenes of our independent movie, Burden of Esteem. This time we have two of Mona's (played by Elissa Kerhula) therapy group appearing for a private session at the same exact time. RACHEL STANDER and CALI ROSS were great in the roles.

At one point, JIM, our director, called for them to improvise while he was filming. I don't know what he exactly had in mind that he asked that, but you could see the actresses were surprised at the request. You always hear about actors Ad-libbing as fits the occasion, but you don't usually hear the director call for it. However, they rose to the occasion admirably.

In filming this scene, we had a moment when I felt like we were in a Tom Laughlin playbook. Tom played Billy Jack in The Born Losers and the Billy Jack movies and has described the way these independents were shot as guerrilla filmmaking. He never had money for permits, and in some places (i.e., Washington D.C. government buildings and monuments for Billy Jack Goes to Washington) he didn't have permission to film. So he used to race in with his crew and cast, shoot on the fly, and was off before the police could hold him accountable.

For us, we were almost done shooting at this location when the building manager of the complex we were shooting in started yelling at us that we didn't have permission to film. Apparently, there was a mix up on what weekend we were shooting. Originally, we were supposed to film last weekend but one of our actors became sick with the flu so it was postponed to this weekend. The member of our shoot who lives in that complex was supposed to clear the change with the manager but apparently there is a difference of opinion on the two sides whether that was done.

In a way it was odd that she wouldn't accept an apology for the miscommunication because she kept saying the shoot was supposed to take place last weekend. That indicated that she had known about it and had agreed to let it happen on the porch of our member's apartment. I understand that she was miffed that it was happening today, but no apology would make her let it go.

I suppose, as producer, I should have checked that everything was communicated properly, but I had thought the member of our shoot who lived there lived in a condo and I wouldn't ask permission to shoot a scene in my condo building. Heck, we've had several shorts and photo-shoots done by various owners in my building. It's Los Angeles. It's Hollywood. Everybody's always making some kind of film everywhere.

Fortunately, we were almost done and moved locations. The second location was where our director lived and the lady who owns that lovely house, not only was fine with our filming but chatted with me.

In the above mentioned scene, the two therapy group women discover that not only has Mona booked both of them at the same time for a private session, but Mona isn't even home. Since one of them lives close by, they go there to have coffee and discuss things.

This scene was a lot of fun to film. It was essentially girl talk and while Jim wrote it, he let the girls improvise some of their dialogue. It got quite raunchy and Jim learned some things he had never known before.

Upon asking where the one learned such details, Jim was told she learned it at an all girls' school.

Because I went to college for a science degree, I was often the only girl in my class or maybe one of two. I hung out mostly with guys and so I got to know them very well. And when I got out in the real world, I worked in a medical research lab in a hospital so I came into contact with a lot of the doctors' secretaries and assistants. And I always said, when men get together to talk about sex, and when women get together to compare notes about sex, the women are far more detailed, raunchy and yes, sometimes even cruder. Well, today's impromptu discussion wasn't at all crude, but I would say it was informative and detailed.

So never say you don't learn things on a movie set.

Crystal - Thespian - Director's cut

Today I went to view the director's cut of my scene as Tiffany Maple, the lawyer who goes to the wrong house to deliver the wonderful news that she's won the case, in the film now called The Burden of Esteem (fka Rendition). Jim, the director, has been telling me all along how pleased he was with my performance, saying I'm cute -- it's an over-the-top comedic scene, so being told I'm cute and funny in it is a good thing. But I've been apprehensive, wondering if he's just saying that, but taking comfort in the fact that I have seemed to deliver what he was looking for. After all, think lawyer, lawyer talk, lots of dialogue, expository type of dialogue -- not the cute back and forth banter that is so much more easy to remember because you get a rhythm going. So you can see why I was apprehensive.

Now you have two types of actors... those who watch their own dailies and those that don't. And I understand both sides -- the little bit I've done before this I never want to see again, although others thought it was okay. You watch yourself and you can learn for next time. On the other hand you see all the choices you didn't make or could have made. And why did I do that?

The first thing I noticed were the personal negatives -- didn't like the way I looked, didn't like the way I talked, didn't like the way I dressed -- and thank God, I've lost weight since then. But then the good parts happened, and I found myself laughing along with Jim. It actually works. I could actually see the quirky character he was going for.

For as conscious as I was of all the dialogue I had to deliver, I had thought out how I wanted to deliver certain lines and the actions I wanted to perform while delivering them. I'm surprised at how much of what I planned for each piece of dialogue was actually there. And I was surprised by neat little nuances that I didn't know were there, had not planned, but which appeared organically. All in all, it looks good.

I can't wait to see the rest of director's cut. I didn't have time to sit through all of it, but hopefully he'll burn me a DVD soon. We still have a few scenes to finish, because he's added on, but it's exciting. Besides, I want it done and in the stores and on my IMDBpro page.

And then he has dangled another challenge for my lawyer alter ego, Tiffany Maple... telling me he wants to test my dramatic skills. Oh goody. I get to be mean and insensitive, then guilty and caring. Sounds like even more fun.